Paint Pastel Princess

KB rather does not like how this year is starting out...

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 18:03:54 GMT

Don't get me wrong--I've had some good times, and my parents celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary, and I'm stoked we have a new president. (A little concerned that there's this sudden influx on publicly broadcast prayer, tho...)

But last night could have been way better. Went to Scubed, which was super-crowded but amusing. I got to see my honey briefly before he had to go to the Stellarcon meeting. Misha invited me to get sushi with her, so I sent Davey a text message telling him where I was going and asking him to call when he got done with his meeting. I had a yummy snack, but I didn't get to say goodnight. As far as I can tell, wires were crossed, phones were being evil, etc. It was a bummer.

So I dropped Steve and Misha off at their place, and after I have a cup of coffee, I get on the road. As soon as I make it to Wendover, my engine light starts blinking, and my car shakes like I do when I've had too much coffee. Not knowing what else to do, I pulled over. I called Steve and Misha, as they were the closest, to try and figure out what was wrong, as my knowledge of cars is quite limited. Steve drove me to the gas station to pick up some motor oil, as when we checked my dipstick, it was pretty much dry. Yay. I was hoping that would be the end of it. No dice. I thought eventually that Rincewind would stop jiggling and run right, but when I pushed him above 50 mph, he shook even more like Too-Much-Coffee-KB and--I thought--threatened to stop running entirely. I tried pulling over at Level Cross, but found no gas station. So I got back on the road.

I drove my jiggling car to Randleman, and pulled in where I thought I could stop at a gas station and get some more oil (at Steve's insistence). The gas station was closed. Auto Zone was closed. I pulled my car into the super-Wal-Mart and call Steve and Misha again. They begin an intrepid quest to find me, while I made an intrepid quest to find something to do while I waited. I wandered the aisles, looking for oil, looking at toys, home dec, and trashy romances. ("I could write that--easily!" I thought.) Steve got AAA on the phone and he and Misha waited in the parking lot with me for them to arrive. We ended up sitting in his car until about 4 am waiting for the tow truck. Steve read aloud from Dead Until Dark, which was kind of funny in a why-God-why sort of way.

My savior was a man named Chris in a big red truck who'd driven all the way from Robbins to help me. I was freezing my toes off waiting for him to strap Rincewind to the back of his truck. He and I chatted while he drove me down to my parents' house. Seemed nice enough, but he flirted with me in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. When he introduced himself, he said he didn't bite unless I wanted him to, just kidding. My discomfort level jumped the shark when we passed an inn that was a landmark to find my house. "Let's get a room there, just kidding." Why is it that people think saying "just kidding" just erases what they've just said? That was just--geh. I was too tired to assert my personhood--I just wanted to go home. I got home around 4:30, and after he had me sign a form, he asked me for my number, just kidding, and then told me to go inside and get my feet warm. I grabbed a quick shower, put on my work clothes (I had work at 9!), and fell into bed.

I had trouble sleeping. I woke up almost an hour before my alarm with the mother of all nauseous tummy aches (bad sushi?). I was crying and dry-heaving in the sink. Dad called work and told them I wasn't coming in. He's taken care of my car--turns out there was a spark plug misfiring or something. So I'm staying in to do homework and pack for this weekend. Hopefully I can spend more time with Davey today, and hopefully my dapper boy won't fret too much in my absence.

As a sidenote, Mr. Nansi is still paralyzingly cute. He's been chasing the arrow across the screen when I move my mouse. I could do without the kitty-yoga-and-butt-licking on my mousepad, tho, but even that's cute.

I'm feeling much better now, so I think I'll grab some breakfast. Will keep you posted. Ja ne.

you know your mom is awesome when...

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 04:16:26 GMT

She listens to all your woes over the deaths of friendships, and then offers you a shot of gin for your orange juice.

I found a picture of Dagmar!

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:58:51 GMT

more animals

early-morning frenzy

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 14:00:57 GMT

I've been up since about four this morning, and my aim was to do things that make me feel better about myself. Part of what makes me feel good is being productive and active. So far today, I've...

-walked 1.25 miles on the treadmill
-scooped three cat boxes
-took out three bags of trash
-cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom--including cleaning under the sink and scrubbing the toilet

I've sustained a steady, natural buzz and a mild chemical burn on one finger. After I shave and shower and get all prettied up for work, I plan on doing some sewing on another quilt I've been working on, and maybe doing some writing. After work, I'd like to see my Davey, if he's available. I have tomorrow off, so I guess I could use that to proofread or read or whatever.

School either starts this week or next week. I'm watching my online classes like a hawk.

As a sidenote, seeing as how I'm gun-shy about seeing a professional therapist and adamant against taking more pills, I've joined an online support group called isurvive. My account hasn't been activated yet, so I can't post, but I've been able to read what other people have to say. Even that little bit so far is very comforting. Hopefully when I can get the ball rolling, some real healing can begin.

just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 04:21:16 GMT

There's something both interesting and sad to see how life picks up without you there. There are people I have, for one reason or another, chosen to stop talking to, or don't talk to as much, but I maintain at least a passing interest in their daily lives. Some, perhaps I should cut loose entirely, as it just breaks my heart over and over. Others I want to pull even closer because I don't want them to go away. At least one or two I want to kick before I let them come any closer. But I look in on them, here and there. I'm curious, but I'm also quite saddened by the bittersweetness of it all.

From what I can see, game goes on without a hitch, school goes on, and people suffer their various frustrations and sorrows. Without a weekly thing, I have trouble remembering what day it is. I have also found the following truths to be self-evident:

-When someone claims neutrality in a collective argument, they've already picked a side--it's just not yours.
-Real friendships can only last as long as you're willing to put work into them.
-If your friends use geek colloquialisms to remind you on a regular basis what a dumb slut you are, maybe you need new friends.

Relationships with people are interesting to watch, if a bit painful. Bruce is moving in with his girlfriend, Steve is moving down with his girlfriend(?), and Carter has a new girlfriend. I like her, which makes it both easy and difficult to try and move on. I find myself looking back on what was, and wondering if I had any kind of positive affect on the men in my life. I wonder if I screwed them up at all--I really fear that I have sometimes. I find myself wondering if I'm a difficult person to love. I have an Easter basket of mental quirks brought on by a lifetime of being bullied or injured in one fashion or another, and as much as I try to shake it, I carry all of those pains with me. Some days they're easier to bear than others. They were probably a driving force in the death of many a relationship. I've felt myself go through the same circles over and over and felt powerless to stop them. I feel there is damage that's been done that needs to be repaired, but not totally sure how to do it. I fear my past and my being haunted by it will have a negative impact on my relationship now. I know I need to sort things out, and probably going back to therapy could help. However, I've been burned enough times by bad shrinks that I'm hesitant to take any more chances with them.

I accept that life goes on with or without you, but with my friends--my true friends--I would much rather it be with me. I want my friendship, my life to mean something positive to the people who keep my company. Things are hard now, but I have to trust that they will get better. My job sucks and school is hard, but thank God I have people who care about me, otherwise I don't know how I would ever make it.

step one: cut a hole in the box...

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 04:20:27 GMT

see more pwn and owned pictures

FAIL blog, you rock me.

books that I read over 2008

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 00:53:35 GMT

1. The Color Purple
2. Anansi Boys
3. Wyrd Sisters
4. Angels and Demons
5. To Catch a Pirate
6. Storm Front
7. A Caress of Twilight
8. Seduced by Moonlight
9. Bad-Ass Faeries
10. The Magician's Nephew
11. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
12. The Skin Gods
13. The Horse and His Boy
14. Beautiful Lies
15. Peony in Love
16. Kitty and the Midnight Hour
17. Eragon
18. I, Lucifer
19. Hate Crime
20. Faithless
21. Are Men Necessary?
22. Kitty Goes to Washington
23. Whale Season
24. Choke
25. Grimm Fairy Tales: Special Collector's Edition
26. Sandman: Season of Mists
27. Little Women
28. Stargirl
29. Twilight
30. Hissy Fit
31. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

This year, I want to finish a book and do more things that make me feel good about myself. I figure those resolutions are nebulous enough to where I can keep them.
Here's to another year and another thirty or so books. Prost!

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 15:01:35 GMT

Happy birthday, chibizel!

New Year's meme ganked from Miki

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 02:33:16 GMT

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Made clothing on a sewing machine. Broke in my first pair of dangerously high heels. Went out with (and maintained a relationship with) a celebrity. Went to CapClave. Re-enacted the falling-down-the-hill scene from The Princess Bride.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Shit, I don't even remember my resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No. Honestly, I think I can count on one hand how many people I know that are mature and responsible enough to procreate.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
nope

5. What countries did you visit?
none--damn it

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
a better job--and a book deal? (hope hope)

7. What date(s) from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
the entire month of February: the first steps in a delayed-action shit-storm that I was in the middle of
August 21st: my 25th birthday and the beginning of my quarter-life crisis
Halloween 2008: the day I'd planned and set to get married. I'm thinking of just flying by the seat of my pants for the rest of my life.
November 4th: Election Day

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
My 740+ page opus that I'm going to have Davey mercilessly hack apart for my own good.
Leaving unhealthy friendships in the dust, even when my own second-guessing drives me crazy. (Me, too, Miki!)
FINALLY feeling a glimmer of confidence in my work!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Letting people walk on me.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Um--I had a gaping hole in my chest from where people repeatedly ripped my heart out. For a while I just carried it around in a jar. And getting sexually assaulted didn't help.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
tell you after Christmas--it's a secret!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Kat--she's been my rock through a lot of bad times.
Davey--he busts his ass.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I'm thinking it might be quicker to list people who didn't appall and depress me at one point or another...

14. Where did most of your money go?
rent, bills, gas, food--I was perpetually broke. Still am.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
in no particular order, CapClave, first girls' night out in eons, karaoke in Chapel Hill, starting a new romance

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
"Love Me Dead" by Ludo

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter
iii. richer or poorer? poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
writing, trusting my gut, exercising, standing up for myself

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
worrying, self-hating, meaningless hook-ups meant to mend a broken heart (they didn't)

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
part of the day with my family, and part with Davey at the movies

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I fell in love again when I didn't want to and thought it was impossible.

23. How many one-night stands?
Technically, none. They were all people I knew, and repeat offenders. They were two-night stands, I suppose. And who they were is none of your damn business, so nyah.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Dr. Who, How Clean is Your House?, TrueBlood

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yeah.

26. What was the best book you read?
Hang on, let me go find my list...Peony in Love. It's like a feudal Chinese version of The Lovely Bones. A truly magnificent read.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Ludo or Kerli, both are fun for different reasons

28. What did you want and get?
a fabulous pair of black shoes, a soap-making kit, new glasses

29. What did you want and not get?
a better job, and I didn't finish my book like I wanted to

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Shrek the Third

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 25, and I went to have Thai food with friends. It was delicious.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Developing an ability to detach myself from things that are not worth my time. (cut and paste Miki's answer)

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
chaotic

34. What kept you sane?
true friends, writing, my 'nansi-boy

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
isn't it obvious? :-)

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the election. I got really hung up on Sarah Palin, specifically on how she cut government spending by having women pay for their own rape kits.

37. Who did you miss?
the Robs, Bruce and Devon, Lauren D., Erica

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Chauncey, a killer (drag)queen made of fabulousness

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
If you don't trust yourself, you won't trust anybody, and it will drive you crazy.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"It was you and me against the world."

oh my holy jeebus

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 18:43:05 GMT

My Space Jesus is a dear, sweet man, but sometimes I wonder where in the hell his mind is going. I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to say about a crazy book idea that he pitched to get my mind off of things, or how serious he is about actually writing it, but I'm certain if he writes it and it gets published, a group of angry Christians will pull a fatwa on him. (Something else for them to joyously gank from the Arab world and claim it as our own, along with spices, the city of Jerusalem, and our numbering system. Sigh.) He's making me want to hit myself in the head a lot.

I'm gearing up for X-mas and being extremely poor throughout the holiday season. My credit card payments will be late, and I'll be left with pretty much nothing for much of January. Turns out wanting to do something nice for Mom and her doggies costs a pretty penny. To bathe and groom two cairn terriers professionally costs $84 at PetSmart. I probably could have done it more locally in Asheboro, but a girl I knew in grade school works at one of those places. This is the same girl who mocked everything I said, choked me in the bathroom without even getting sent to the principal's office (yes, I ratted her out), and got together with a handful of other kids and tried to convince me to join their coven and said they'd kill me if I told anyone about it. I hadn't seen The Craft at the time, so I was oblivious. So yeah. Fuck that bitch, I'm not giving her any of my hard-earned money.

I'm in the process of proofreading one of Davey's books before he sends it off. I'm impressed so far (no, not just because he's my boyfriend, wankers :-p), but I'm also frustrated because I'm not taking in the book as fast as I normally do. I read fast, but checking for errors takes a lot more time. It's a pain in the ass, but I'm happy to do it. Makes me feel like I'm part of something.

With Kat at the helm of a crazy scheme, I'm announcing right now that we're trying to get a group of girls together for a summertime adventure--to Vegas! Starting with my next one, I'm going to start squirreling away 15% of every paycheck into savings. Granted, it won't be very much, but I'm certain if I keep looking, I'll find a much more worthwhile job that pays better.

I'm feeling more confident about school and about my writing. I just finished Chapter Four of Fishboy. If I weren't on Davey's computer, I could go ahead and send Margaret what I've got so far. It's not yaoi (sorry), but it's full of magic and merpeople and things that go boom and it's just fun. ^_^

As a sidenote, I keep meeting or hearing about people from high school who are married or have children, and now that I'm much less gung-ho about being mated-for-life, I find myself idly wondering if I missed a meeting. I also find myself wondering if there's Kool-Aid at that meeting.

As another sidenote, I am so bogged down by Christmas music, I can no longer hear "Carol of the Bells" without hearing Peter Griffin singing, "Ding! Fries are done! Ding! Fries are done!"

just a few things

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 04:01:14 GMT

Plastic poinsettias look much fuller from a top shelf way above my head.

Grooming dogs, even little ones, is fucking expensive. To treat my mom to something I know she wants, I got a gift certificate to get both her dogs cleaned and groomed professionally. Total cost: 84 bucks. Ouch.

My super-secret Christmas projects are under waaaaaay! But since I'm poor, I may have to wait until after Christmas to gift some people.

I got an A in my first grad school class! *SQUEE!*

I am a grinch lite: I like Christmas, but I hate the music. If I have to hear Josh Groban or Mariah Carey one more time, I may sharpen a pencil and shove it in my ear.

There are some perks to working at a craft store--double discount days are always around big sales. I've making like a bandit with my craft stuff.

Sometimes I think Kat and I should go into business making our own beauty products instead of trying to sell Mary Kay. Goat's milk soap is the shiznit.

I finished reading Twilight after I saw the movie. Edward's perpetually surprised expression made me think of Holly's cat, Fletcher. I've also finished reading (listening, rather) to Stargirl. I still have a few books I want to read before the year is out.

I've submitted my first three chapters of Fishboy for Davey's reading. The chapters are much shorter than what I'm used to, as they're written in a true YA formula, but I think they're okay for a first draft. Anyone else want to read, just post a comment.

For my last post, that was a dream I had while I was sleeping, though it could be fun to implement in real life. I'm guessing my brain was thinking of the movie Space Mutiny at the time and super-imposed a bunch of other stuff.

Banshees exist, and they like to shop at Jo Ann's.

dream

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 14:15:48 GMT

We exist in a giant school that's more like a prison than anything else, complete with bullies who act like wardens. Led by me and Carter, we don ridiculous silver costumes and declare mutiny on the school. After that, we run around shooting laser pistols, tromp through lovely greenery, and free mistreated animals on campus and revive them with Sobe vitamin water.

And I'm not even on drugs.

question meme from Margaret--the big five

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 06:18:16 GMT

You know the drill. Leave a comment, you get five questions to post and answer in your LJ.

1. Faerie artist you find most aesthetically pleasing?
The artist or the pictures? Lawls...I'd have to say Nene Thomas. Amy Brown has pretty and cute pictures of faeries, but Nene's are absolutely breath-taking. One of her pictures is on my favorite perfume, Queen of Owls.
2. One book you would make potential offspring read no matter how much they might whine about it?
Little Women. The girls worry about silly things like matching gloves and pickled limes, but the dynamic of family and the love that links them all together through happy and sad times is something I think every kid should be exposed to. One that's just for fun, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
3. What is the last thing you laughed out loud at?
the antics of my sassy drag-queen co-worker, Chauncey
4. If you could have someone make one LJ icon for you, what would be on it?
I would want it to be of a picture of the heroine of my book Shadebloom, Ivy Lee/Yvehliana. It would be a close-up of her face, looking incredulous/annoyed, and in stylized purple letters, it would just say, Bitch, please.
5. Favorite Madeleine L'Engle book? Since you brought up Proginoskes... X3
Actually, the only one I read was A Wind in the Door. I picked it up because I read American Girl magazine, and that was one of the summer reading books they recommended. I had a little trouble getting into it, but it wasn't a bad read.

I am a mighty KB-chan!

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:23:54 GMT

It sort of feels like the end of an era, moving the dregs of my stuff out of my old apartment. When I came into it today, I saw that it would appear that Holly is all moved out as well, but a lot of dishes (I know they're not mine) were still left in and around the sink. I also found some of my things that I'd forgotten stacked on the couch.

Couch. Shit. Still had to do something about the couch. And the coffee table. And my bathmat, apparently. But at least they found my Snow White movie--yay!

So here is what makes KB mighty today. Amid much grunting and straining I managed to push, pull, and roll a couch that weighs easily twice as much as I do out of the house and onto the curb. All. By. Myself. I took the cushions and the feet off and I made sure to take safety precautions (namely, not letting it roll into a big pile of dog shit), but damn it, I did it. In a weird way, it felt like I was giving birth (or the house was, whatever). Or purging. Something. I guess my short and sassy haircut helped. (So does that make me the opposite of Samson? Perhaps I should give the Evey Hammond look a try...)

It feels bittersweet in a way, because I have a lot of *cough* fond memories on that couch. But maybe it's better this way, because then I have to make some new ones. I feel a little sad, but hopeful--in a realistic sort of way.

I took the time to clean out and under the big comfy couch before shoving it out the door, and I thought I'd share with everyone what I found.

-a copy of Delia's catalog
-a request for time off work
-the seal on a can of frosting
-the tattered remains of a cotton ball
-two bottle caps
-a popsicle wrapper
-three popsicle sticks (what the fuck? I haven't had popsicles in months...)
-a napkin from a cutlery set, still in plastic
-a lipstick (mine)
-2 coupons for yogurt
-a red colored pencil
-one regular pencil
-a hair tie
-a cardboard skein with lavender thread
-a voter registration card (Holly's)
-95 cents

Awesome. I'm going to be leaving my key and a note for Richard letting him know I've moved the stuff out and I'll be stopping by game on Saturday after I get off work to give Holly her money I owe her--unless something painfully dramatic happens, which I hope it doesn't. I've had quite enough in the last six months, thank you.

Goodbye, couch. May you find a new college student who loves you for you, and may you make some new memories of your own and have little loveseats.

meme ganked from Miki

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 01:23:15 GMT

Ten years ago, I:
- was a sophomore in high school
- got grounded for mediocre grades constantly
- got my heart broken hardcore for the first time
- was introduced to some of the true delights of the internet--fan fiction, yaoi, and porn

Five years ago, I:
- was a junior in college
- began seriously-seriously writing
- went to my first Stellarcon
- went on my first road trip

One year ago, I:
- graduated from college
- hand-sewed a Halloween costume that I'm super-proud of
- got engaged for the second time (it didn't last, but he's still a dear friend)
- rode an elephant

So far this year, I:
- have started graduate school
- written over 700 pages of one story, and started a new story
- worked at a fabric shop, where I can be both really happy and really miserable depending on what day it is
- had a hit-and-run

Yesterday, I:
- completed the first draft of chapter one for Fishboy
- got a new pair of glasses
- had a delicious sushi lunch
- hung out with my mom, then hung out with Davey

Today, I:
- was late to work, but had a relatively stress-free day
- got my hair cut, so I no longer feel like I look like James Hetfield circa 1985
- took Davey to see Quantum of Solace
- tried (unsuccessfully) to steal kisses from Davey while he's still sick

Tomorrow, I will:
- do schoolwork
- write!
- try and get some cleaning done
- work the closing shift at Jo Ann's

In one year, I hope I:
- finish one of my books!
- have a job in my field and working in retail
- will have moved out of my parents' house and be debt-free
- have gotten my first tattoo

In five years, I:
- will be published at least a couple of times
- will START thinking about settling down
- will have a clean and safe home decorated the way I want
- will have traveled to places I've never been--England, India, Alaska, Italy...

epic lols--and it does make you think, doesn't it?

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 15:04:28 GMT

I voted today. On my way in, I saw a girl who was distributing campaigning cards. She was beyond the line for the sign, but oh well. She looked cold and I felt bad that she'd have to stand out there pretty much all day, so I gave her one of my donuts.

I feel drop-dead tired for some reason, so I think I'll crash for a little bit before I have to go into work. Blarg. Just blarg. Home stuff being annoying. That's all I really care to say.

balance!

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:18:13 GMT

Yesterday I mentioned the pissy note from the roommate, and getting clubbed by both laptop and vaccuum cleaner. My nose is still tender, but at least there's no bruise--that one would have been a little difficult to explain to the coworkers. There were other things that went wrong, too, just to add to the mess...

-I found two spots on my carpet where kitties have been peeing.
-I found out one of my favorite managers is quitting.
-I got so bogged down by customers needing to be checked out that I lost the chance to sell somebody a really nice sewing machine. (We don't get paid on commission, but it was something of a matter of personal pride. I've been there since June, and I have yet to get a silver scissors pin, which denotes especially excellent service. Good things happen for people with the silver scissors.)
-I had multiple customers get mad at me because they were buying multiple items already on sale, so they couldn't use their 50% off coupons.
-After running back forth the entire length of the store, I had a customer decry me for her wasting gas and not having the iron that she wanted, and decided she didn't want the scissors she was planning on buying, either, and walked off in a huff.
-I had two managers giving me contradictory instructions, so I found myself running back and forth a lot.
-I discovered I'm working on Wednesday night (boo!) and Saturday night as well. If I weren't on hiatus from game, that would be a problem, but it's still irritating, because it means my managers aren't taking into account my hours of availability.
-My most annoying customer: a woman who wanted to pay for her stuff with a debit card and a gift card. Not a problem, except that she didn't wait for me to put in the gift card before entering in all her info on the PIN pad. So she ends up charging herself the entire amount and wants me to fix it, right now--and there was a line of at least four other people behind her.

But! The day wasn't complete shit. Some good things happened yesterday, too.
-I gave very good customer service.
-I was there fifteen minutes early instead of half an hour late, like I feared I was.
-There's beautiful fabric on sale, and I'm going to get some!
-My head manager praised me.
-I sold the MAC (most annoying customer) a $119 sewing machine.
-I got thanked more than I got rebuked.
-I saw people I knew from Strong College.
-The head manager bought us pizza for dinner.
-I found a ten dollar bill in one of the shopping carts, the fruit of which is currently a Cajun filet biscuit digesting quite nicely.
-I began a writing exercise that Davey put me on after I struck gold in a Capclave writing workshop. So far so good.
-Though it kept us busy past business hours, my last customer of the day was Laura from Scubed.
-Best part of the day: going to see Davey after work, where I sat on the couch with him to watch TV, talk, eat Junior Mints, snuggle, and pet fuzzy kitties.

Wow. Looks like I about broke even. Go me. ^_^

ouch!

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 16:10:48 GMT

Today, I got home to find an annoyed-sounding note from my roommate. In addition, I pulled my laptop down on my foot, and the vaccuum cleaner flopped over from its perch on a shelf that's chest-high on me and popped me right in the nose.

On top of that, it's moonlight madness week, which means people are going to be clamoring to use multiple coupons, complain loudly about ridiculous it is that there are so few of us to help them, and basically blame me for everything that's wrong with the store.

...something tells me it's not going to be a good day.

halloween meme

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 03:18:20 GMT

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
bat_katie_beth goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Queen of Hearts.
ajrock83 gives you 13 teal apple-flavoured gummy bats.
argon_boy tricks you! You get an eraser.
chibizel gives you 6 red coffee-flavoured nuggets.
darjames tricks you! You lose 5 pieces of candy!
daveybeauchamp gives you 7 dark green raspberry-flavoured wafers.
fiery_tempest gives you 19 red-orange watermelon-flavoured pieces of taffy.
ingens_pelides gives you 11 orange licorice-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
lemone tricks you! You get a scratched CD.
phonosaurs_rex gives you 5 dark blue mint-flavoured gummy bats.
spilt_espresso tricks you! You lose 50 pieces of candy!
bat_katie_beth ends up with 6 pieces of candy, an eraser, and a scratched CD.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Oh, even more dickery! I guess Lemonie gave me my scratched CD back. Lawl.

listserv discussion from class

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 03:03:05 GMT

Listserv Discussion Starter: Do you think the situation above is somehow related to the fact that folks have a different idea about non-print for pleasure as opposed to print for pleasure? In other words, do folks think it is okay to read junk, just so long as you are reading, but it is not okay to view junk? If this different opinion does exist, is it valid? Is a bad book better to spend time with than a great documentary.

I think junk has its place in our society as the big mind-switch. It's a release from the daily grind, whether it's a super-violent video game, a trashy romance novel, or a hideous reality show. Sometimes we need to unplug and let the worries of the world wash away, and sometimes you just need a little dose of schaudenfreude to be reminded that you could always have it worse. Of course, you can have too much of a good thing. If you spend all your free time watching reruns of World's Most Listless Loiterers, it's going to stunt your ability to think rationally.

I am of the opinion that a junk book is better than junk television. I do kind of wonder where the misconception that books with lots of pretty pictures in them (like comic books!) are usually dismissed as infantile or crap, and that people should stick to reading the classics. Hello! It can be argued that a lot of the classics aren't that great either. To this day, people still view Lady Chatterly's Lover as smut. James Joyce comes across as nigh on incomprehensible, and the book Evelina was the most god-awful thing I ever tried to read. I could not finish it, it was so bad. There have been books that I read as a kid and loved, then looked back at and thought, "What was I thinking?" But I think they made a great stepping stone in my development, and hey, they kept me reading.

Some people just respond better to learning and retaining data if it has a lot of visual input, which is why television is great. But the benefice of reading a crappy book versus watching anything on television is that a book doesn't stop in the middle of a story to tell you to go buy something--unless it's a book about shopping.

There are good books and bad books, and even documentaries--even well-done documentaries--can be good or bad. I'm sorry, but I have a hard time believing the documentary I watched that told me that thirteen crystal skulls need to be gathered to save the world. What's with all the searching? Just make a half-dozen or so more crystal skulls and put a lot of energy in them as you're making them. It'll make you feel better, and it'll make me feel better because there'll be one less weird show taking up my cable space.

Listserv Discussion Starter: Here is my prediction--and I am not "stretching" very much: more and more of the tools that we librarians use will be multi-media--and before some of us retire, interaction in virtual spaces will be a daily activity. That is because the gaming generation that we are rearing now will expect their information sources to be multi-media. There will be sound, video, print, still images--all in a collage that will probably have some level of interactivity. For example, think about how Web pages once were: static and largely text-based. Now, think about how they are: loads of moving pictures making sounds surrounded by text. Aren't they more multi-media based and interactive? Think about the bank teller machines that we use. Think about our cell phones. See where I am going with this? ? ? The current elementary school generation has been called the "gaming generation," and I am not talking Vegas here, folks. Think how their interaction with others at a distance and with information will be different from their own.

Oh, this one really got me thinking, and the very first thing that popped into my head was the game World of Warcraft. I have such a love-hate relationship with that game. Millions of people play, gathering together in a far-away land to fight monsters, win treasure, and beat each other up. In my circle of friends, I'm one of two people who doesn't play at all, and despite temptation, I've made a point not to. Yes, it's taught this generation and my own how to multi-task and work in a group--people have actually gotten jobs because they sighted managerial experience in organizing raids via this game. When I watch friends play, I'm dazzled by how they can do so many different things at once. And it allows you to interact with people from all over the world who you otherwise wouldn't have access to, and you can make friends--some people have even married people they met through WoW.

Unfortunately, I hear much more about the drawbacks of playing than the benefits, and it makes me wonder why people even bother. Some monsters are very difficult to kill, you don't always have what you need to finish a quest, and of course the coup de grace--the fact that you're interacting with millions of people of various ages and social skills who relish in the anonymity of the internet. Far, far too many toss their manners out the window and use their anonymity as an excuse to be a jerk. I've been told stories of tear-jerking bickering between teammates that causes rifts in friendships and people to quit guilds (as they're called) or quit the game. I've also heard stories of people doing something called 'corpse-camping,' where they pick a fight with another person's character, kill them, and then hang around the dead body waiting for the character to respawn so they can kill them again. And this is something that's supposed to be fun. It figures that even the internet isn't safe from jerks and drama llamas.

Listserv Discussion Starter: Post a message to the class listserv telling the class some anecdote relating to your use of an "obsolete" technology whether it is information storage related or not. Do you have information stored on a reel-to-reel tape recorder at home? Did you write an important paper using a TRS-80 and wish you could now get a copy off of the old disk? You get the idea. Now state your thoughts about the effect of rapidly changing storage media on libraries.
This one might be slightly less obsolete, but it was still quite distressing. As an aspiring writer, I've made it a point to try and back up my files, and nothing sucks quite as much as losing what you've poured yourself into. This was something I learned the hard way. Having no computer of my own when I was growing up, I saved my writing files on the family computer and backed them up wth a 3.5" floppy disk. When I got to college, I got a hand-me-down desktop, and continued saving my stuff on a multitude of disks. When I got my first laptop, I was overjoyed, because note-taking and writing had become much speedier. But I was dismayed to discover that my new laptop didn't have a floppy drive. To make it easier on me, my mom bought me a seperate floppy drive that could plug into the USB port. I put in a disk with some of my stories on it, and it didn't read--I think the little metal sliding thing was bent. It also would not eject from the drive. I had to take tools to it to get it out, and when I did, the disk was destroyed. All but one of my stories was backed up another disk, so that was 60 pages just lost in a puff of annoyance.

It's important to maintain bits of our history--and back up our documents. My thought is if our old-school technology is going to be kept in libraries, it needs to be in good working order. Anything that can't be used anymore because it's simply too old should be recycled or maybe donated to a museum. For that matter, the new stuff should be in good working order, too. The funny thing about computers is that they work pretty much the way they want to, when they want to, and you have to do a lot of keystrokes to make them do what you want.

meme ganked from Ms. Miki

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 03:51:26 GMT

THE JOURNAL:

First things first, how long have you kept a LiveJournal, and why did you begin it?
I started this one back when I was maybe nineteen--so about six years. (God, has it been that long?)

Have you stuck to one journal or had many? How many journals do you currently use?
This is the only one I have. I occasionally update Facebook. I also keep paper journals for book ideas.

The reason behind your Username(s):
When I did 4-H and Boo at the Zoo came around, I always did a presentation to the public about the importance of bats to the ecosystem. I was essentially a character--a bat (yes, I wore a costume ><") called Foxglove--I even had a volunteer name tag. I dispelled myths about bats, talked about how lovely and wonderful they are, and even handed out instructions on how to build a bat box. This is also my AIM SN, which I think I picked because I kept envisioning myself in a pink Batgirl costume.

How often are you on LJ, and how long do you spend on the site when you log in?
I read (or scan over it) pretty much every day, but I don't post as often as I used to. I can spend a few minutes to over an hour here.

What does your activity on LJ most consist of?
reading my friends list, and maybe taking a few quizzes before I post

What are some of your favorite aspects of LiveJournal?
I like that I can keep up with some of my friends that I don't really keep in touch with otherwise. (Miki said it first, but I agree--when they actually post. :-p)

Some of your least favorite aspects?
two words: flame wars

Have you ever had an LJ "secret"? Such as a private journal, a separate journal with a separate friends' list, etc?
I have a few private entries here, but that's about it.

THE FRIENDS LIST:

Have you met a fellow LJ’er? Who, where, and why did you meet?
I've been acquainted (in the vaguest sense of the word) with one who I met at cons over the past five years. I didn't find out until recent that he had an LJ. Now, through a strange twist of events, we're dating.

Which five LJers would you most like to meet (those you have not had the pleasure of meeting)?
I have never met

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<lj-user="devorguilla">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<lj-cut text="Mullet fantasia!...I dunno, I just wanted a funny-sounding cut tag.">
THE JOURNAL:

First things first, how long have you kept a LiveJournal, and why did you begin it?
I started this one back when I was maybe nineteen--so about six years. (God, has it been that long?)

Have you stuck to one journal or had many? How many journals do you currently use?
This is the only one I have. I occasionally update Facebook. I also keep paper journals for book ideas.

The reason behind your Username(s):
When I did 4-H and Boo at the Zoo came around, I always did a presentation to the public about the importance of bats to the ecosystem. I was essentially a character--a bat (yes, I wore a costume ><") called Foxglove--I even had a volunteer name tag. I dispelled myths about bats, talked about how lovely and wonderful they are, and even handed out instructions on how to build a bat box. This is also my AIM SN, which I think I picked because I kept envisioning myself in a pink Batgirl costume.

How often are you on LJ, and how long do you spend on the site when you log in?
I read (or scan over it) pretty much every day, but I don't post as often as I used to. I can spend a few minutes to over an hour here.

What does your activity on LJ most consist of?
reading my friends list, and maybe taking a few quizzes before I post

What are some of your favorite aspects of LiveJournal?
I like that I can keep up with some of my friends that I don't really keep in touch with otherwise. (Miki said it first, but I agree--when they actually post. :-p)

Some of your least favorite aspects?
two words: flame wars

Have you ever had an LJ "secret"? Such as a private journal, a separate journal with a separate friends' list, etc?
I have a few private entries here, but that's about it.

THE FRIENDS LIST:

Have you met a fellow LJ’er? Who, where, and why did you meet?
I've been acquainted (in the vaguest sense of the word) with one who I met at cons over the past five years. I didn't find out until recent that he had an LJ. Now, through a strange twist of events, we're dating.

Which five LJers would you most like to meet (those you have not had the pleasure of meeting)?
I have never met <lj-user="devorguilla">, who friended me through Bruce's mom. From what I've read, she seems cool.

The people who are most mysterious, aloof, or unknown to you on your friends list:
Niki (Bruce's mom) doesn't seem to post anymore, which is a bummer, as she kicks quite a lot of ass.

Describe your favorite type of posts to read:
I like reading funny posts, short stories, quiz results, and memes. I usually take them myself (sometimes more than once) to see how I stack.

The posts that you generally skip or skim:
I skip stuff about WoW because I don't play. I sometimes skim over the posts about the Dollfies because I'm curious, though a little alarmed that these characters have developed such a strong presence in the physical world. (Hokuto, honey, I'm not judging at all. My own characters bang around in my head to the point where I can concentrate on little else, and if I could make dollies out of them I probably would.)

Which 5 journals do you enjoy reading most?
in no particular order, Miki, Hope, Margaret (whose rage at the ass-hats of humanity is awe-inspiring), Erica, Lati

This is the part of the survey where we get to be HONEST:

Are there certain friends that you never or very rarely read?
I try to at least skim every friend's post, even if I don't buckle down and read it all.

Anyone on your friends' list whose posts annoy you, or you otherwise just don't gel with?
Well, yes, but I try not to dwell on it. And if it really bugs me, I go read something else. I'm not going to smear other people's journals with angry words that I'll regret saying later.

Anyone who is so fabulous you worship them from afar?
From afar? No. :-)

Is your very best friend on LJ?
She doesn't have LJ, unfortunately.

Have you ever kept a real-life secret from your LJ friends (such as a relationship, a child, a job, etc)?
I used to vent EVERYTHING on my LJ. I look back on it and I cringe. God, I was such an emo-kid when I started writing in this journal. I'm much more selective on what I share now. For a little while in recent weeks, I had been keeping a secret: a relationship. I know I don't have the best track record with people, and I wasn't sure how people would react. But I'm happy to say that I can take this one a day at a time, and it's so far so good.

THE COMMENTING:

How important is it to you to receive comments on your posts?
I like knowing people are aware of what's going on in my life, but they don't have to comment. I do get worried if I post an invite to an event and I don't get many comments--it makes me think no one will come. :-(

What is your personal guideline for removing people who never (or rarely) comment on your journal?
I have only removed three people from my friends list, and it had nothing to do with commenting. It had to do with people being a communal douche.

THE END:

In general, what is the impression you hope others receive of yourself through your journal?
From my friends, that I have significantly grown in the time that they've known me. From people who might not know me, that I'm simply human and have deep desires, and hopefully am fun to be around.

What is your overall attitude toward your own journal?
I think it's come a long way. There are posts that embarass me, but I do feel that some of the things I've had to say show some amount of depth and clarity of thought. (I mostly say this because one of my regular gaming groups rubs in that they think I have a wisdom score of 7, at the highest.)

In a nutshell, why do you keep a LJ? How has it enriched your life?
I still have my problems and I still have stress, but hey, I'm alive, so it comes with the territory. I've found that keeping an LJ and the backlash that came with some of the things I've said have made me more conscientious of the things I say, particularly about others. I think I've come a long way from being a mopey teenager who cuts and contemplates suicide every week. I've since ditched my lemming suit and gone for achieving my dreams, and I'm a much happier person for it.

Updates in life: A few. Trying to find a new job at a library. My book <i>Shadebloom</i> at last count is around 740 double-spaced pages, and still coming. My writer beau is going to help me break it down and maybe turn it into three books. I have other ideas for stories, and I really need to write them down before they slip away. Going to Capclave in two weeks, and I'm dancing a freakin' jig over it. Dagmar will be getting spayed soon (finally!), and soon be going back to her daddy (who, by the way, is still a very dear friend). I'll miss the little fuzzball, but I won't miss her trying to tear down my posters while I'm trying to sleep.

three things

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 03:47:19 GMT

1. Retail is a fresh hairy turd.

2. More than once, when a customer asked how I was doing, I had to fight not to say, "I feel as though I'm sinking further into the seperating asshole of mutual acrimony and defeat," and substituting it with the bland, "I'm fine, thanks. How are you?"

3. Facebook is the cause of many maladies, not the least of which is miscommunication, though that is quite enough.

That is all.

I don't think I'm alone in the universe when I say this, but...

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 06:33:18 GMT

Watching two cats fight in a bean-bag chair is fucking ridiculous.

EDIT: Just as ridiculous is the sound of little kitty skulls clunking against the underside of my blessed coffee table.

meme from Hokuto

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 04:04:26 GMT

Comment on this post.
I will give you a letter.
Think of 5 fictional characters whose names begin with that letter and post their names and your comments on these characters in your LJ.

Mine was H, so here we go!

...Wow this was harder than I thought.

1. Hermione Granger. I would save the best for last, but she's the first one I thought of, and I think she kicks quite a lot of ass.

2. Hannah Montana. I really, really wish this trend would die. I find the concept of a "secret pop star" to be kind of irritating. Maybe it's my being unable to suspend my disbelief on this one.

3. Helena (Mirrormask). Immature, but plucky and fun. I always have a bit of girlish delight every time I see this movie. I think I just dig trippy movies with lively heroines.

4. Hinzelmann (American Gods). A dark, interesting character. I thought Gaiman wove his true nature into the plot beautifully and tied everything up in a neat little package. Thought he got what was coming to him, though.

5. Hoa Nguyen. You haven't heard of her yet because she's not yet published. She's one of my characters. She's the quintessential human BFF for a supernatural being. And no, she's not a kung fu master, an exceptionally good student, or a manicurist. With this character, I wanted this to be my first step in taking the concept of justifying why a non-white person is in the story and kick it to the curb. As far as my critique of her, I think she rolls with the punches, and I'd kind of like to see her more in the story, but I have no idea where else to put her. Guess it's a good thing I have an editor.

secret meme from Margaret

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 07:13:57 GMT

You get the answers--but the only way to get the questions is to take the meme! Mwa-ha-ha!

1. Erin
2. Hope
3. If we're talking jobs, definitely Davey.
4. Melanie!
5. Lemonie
6. I could make a list for this one...
7. Niki, for sheer bad-assitude.
8. Kat
9. Davey
10. Alicia. No, really.
11. don't know that one
12. Erica
13. Shira. I miss her.
14. Car-tor, without a doubt.
15. ...nobody!
16. Hope
17. Ask me again when I take everyone's DS from them. Whoever whines the loudest wins.
18. Kat
19. Miki
20. Bruce
21. John, definitely.
22. Laura, maybe?
23. none of my friends fit this description
24. Holly
25. Steve, lawl
26. Someone I think I could? Yair, with enough booze in him. Someone I know I could? Um...let me get a pad and paper...
27. Davey. Big ol' duh.
28. Mitra
29. Want to? I am!
30. I love everybody, and even when we're not in regular touch, I do think of you.